Have you ever loved someone so much that you got lost in them? You spent so much time invested in the relationship, too much, that you began to lose sight of who you are? I know I did.
We still care about each other, but we both know that it is impossible for one or the other to grow as individuals when we're so young and so attached at the hip. Honestly, underneath the smiles and butterflies I knew this all along. I knew I wanted to be alone, I knew I wanted to have time to become my own person, grow and make mistakes and continue to grow. I just didn't know that this desire would eventually grow so large that it would take over my world.
I think if we fast forwarded to five years, everything would have been perfect. But I suppose one of the biggest ironies of love is loving the right person, at the wrong time. Disappointed as I was at the time, now that I can hold my head up on my own I've realized that I have never been more content being single.
We still love each other, curious as that is to other people. But we don't want to be together, because we both know we're happier on our own. Love isn't possessive, and I'm not spending my days worrying about what if's.
This weekend I reconnected with some of my closest friends from high school, and I'm very glad I did. I expressed my worries about being stuck in this town, and just feeling stuck in life in general. They assured me I was better than that.
And that's all I ever wanted to know.
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