In my life, I can never leave loose ends. I can not accept the uncertainty, I can not move on, and I sure as hell can not dismiss things. Everything is big - to the point where my over thinking is downright obsessive. So be it.
Let's dive so deep so we can reach for all the answers we need.
I've been thoroughly unhappy with myself ever since I dropped out of university. I have been even more unhappy with every relationship that has come my way. It seems like I always just get too deep - and then I forget about myself and my life. I have a serious problem with putting my happiness first. I don't know what to do when I'm not caring for someone, or doing something for someone to make them happy. I am selfless to a serious fault.
I thought that if someone could love me that it would make me happy. But when it all boils down to it, I just needed to love myself, and I should never have wasted my time trying to find someone else to validate me.
Why do I struggle every day with depression? Why do I pick apart my appearance, my personality, everything little thing that makes me, me?
This whole time I've been punishing myself because I know that I am less than one stone away from being able to fit into my jeans from four years ago. Now I can't stop eating because one day I decided I couldn't take it anymore and wanted to feel full.
And once I felt full, my body never wanted to be hungry again.
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